|Gramma/Jonell with Grand daughter Dylan -Dec. 2015|
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My First Blog: Down the Lane
My Georgia Roots~
Let's take a deep breath now and begin to fill in the blanks for readers or followers who do not know my story. Obviously I am now beginning to edit some of the blog text and make updates to avoid confusion as you read.
Even now as we are months past this life altering event please understand if I am saying "we" & "our" and you find references to my life that sound as though I am presently a couple. Truth is I am still married...that's my reality. It is not easy to become "one alone" when you have been a team, a pair, a partner, a 'we' for more than 54 years.
I still find myself apologizing to a restaurant hostess for being only one person to use a table for four. The first time, months into this, I went out for dinner in a nice restaurant alone I came away feeling I did not have a right to be there. My reality~
It's hard to know what order these fill in and catch up notes should be arranged. Quite likely I will sort it all out after the fact. In other words the story may not always make sense to you ~ bear with me as it all becomes more orderly with time.
Who Gramma Was-Has Become Over the Years-
Who She Is Today?
I noted earlier that I was born a twin. That's true yet not always real to me because I never knew my twin Jurel who only lived two weeks. My husband once reminded me as I was pondering this chapter of my history: "Jonell, you realize that you will know him when you get to Heaven?"
Thank you sweetheart for that clarification.
As a child growing up in rural south Georgia in the 1940s & 1950s, I have vivid recall and rich memories of both good things and the harsh realities of the times, customs, relationships and it is unlikely that my story telling of the hard times stories will be exaggerated.
My most meaningful take away from my childhood is the growing realization with maturity, of how God placed people, friends, teachers or pastors and family members in my life for provision, protection, teaching, loving and building up.
I made an early decision to follow Christ. The life I have enjoyed is because of the hunger for Him that He placed within me and of course His Grace and Mercy...so real to me as I have grown older.
Then, as though that were not enough of His Goodness He chose for me the finest husband to walk alongside "Until Death Us Do Part" which turned out to be 54 plus years.
I am still trying to figure out what this new life ahead of me is going to look and feel like.
A few solutions & answers I've stumbled upon while in a "wait and see, don't hurry" mode.
I am so grateful to my children for wise counsel about not making hurried decisions or changes.
~ JWH/Jan. 2015
Where am I Now-
I am at a different place but I don't yet know how to explain or describe it-just different and I have to believe it's a good thing.
Alone is still very awkward in many situations but I don't run from myself nearly so often and I have only locked myself out of the house one time-just this week- I survived that with enough material to put together at least a twenty minute stand up routine for late night television. Yes it was a circus -No three ring production-just me!but it didn't defeat me. I lived to tell about it!
I do anticipate having more stories to tell by this time next year and perhaps will have broadened my horizons as we say...with some new experiences. I just hope I can do it justice in the sharing and telling - [November 2015]