May 24, 2014

Mile Marker #9 ~ [May 18, 2014]

Nine months since August 18th, 2013....10:30 p.m.  

That night my whole world changed forever. We all knew it was coming. 
We had  a merciful 'heads up' more than a year earlier.
 Still the reality of this new life is something I could  never have imagined....
not even with another  54  years.

Quite honestly I don't know where I should be...
 I don't know where others feel I "should be" after nine months. 
 Whatever it is, I don't think I am there.
I am erratically  searching for balance in my days. 
 What does 'Centered' mean?  I think maybe that's one of the things I am wanting to be...centered.
 I need routine and structure more than ever in my life- 
I Think.

Ah, the security of  being set, programmed - scheduled each day.
[sounds like an alarm clock]
Where has my self confidence gone? 
No idea, but it does seems to be .... 

I know there is Life ahead of me....
 Yet, at times I'm unsure
What life is supposed to look or feel like,

  Am I waiting for everything to stop hurting?
  but  I know better. 

 Please be kind- don't share Theology...
I know what God's Word  teaches.
 I accept that. 
 Those issues have all been settled long ago for me
-for all of us. 

I am not questioning God,
 I am not ungrateful. 
I am not angry,
 just So alone. 

 Empty house, empty yard, empty days, 
Nights, weekends ~Alone

I recently heard or read this somewhere :  

 If we  Praise God & Thank Him for the Good times, 
the sun shiny days, 
We must also praise and thank Him in the Valleys,
.....the dark days.

 I do~
post script:  Isn't it wonderful that with the dawn of each new day we can start fresh, leaving behind the discouraging, sometimes defeating thoughts of the day before.  
God is still good~

Contributors on 


  1. I love how honest you are... No sugar coating! I love that... I know how to pray for/with honest people. I can't imagine the feelings you're battling... I miss you! Things have been crazy busy here... I've really hurt my back this week, though... I'm pretty immobile right now... Ready to get up and get busy! Love you so...

    1. My point of view for this blogging platform is something like this: If I am going to pretend why bother with the writing, posting , sharing? If I can manage to be this way-open & honest not pretentious, then there is a chance someone else' heart can be touched..encouraged. from our front porch [walking in our shoes] I long for personal contacts that are platitudes, perfect answers, just real. Remember, 55 years [since the proposal and The Ring] is a very, very long time-especially when it's so good.


This is intended to be an exchange of thoughts, recollections and ideas.
A note /comment from you Makes My Day- I would be honored to have you sign on as a FOLLOWER.