FIRST, DON'T EVEN THINK THAT I AM GOING TO POST A LIST OF MAGICAL OR SPIRITUAL ANSWERS TO ALL OUR QUESTIONS, FEARS OR DOUBTS. I AM NOT THERE. PERHAPS I WILL NEVER BE BUT I AM TRUSTING THE JOURNEY. I MEAN NOT TO SAY WALKING BLINDLY EXPECTING EASE AND SMOOTH SAILING. I TRUST THE GUIDE-MY SAVIOR AND LORD.
As I held with determination and a tad bit of desperation to my hot cup of coffee at my favorite breakfast place this New Year's morning and read from what promises to be a gift called blessing [ A copy of "The Noticer" by Andy Andrews] and focused on getting into this love gift from Mike and Pam, I grabbed onto some thoughts worth savoring. I pray I will.
A bit later I was reminded of Gratitude. Driving the few miles back from my breakfast outing I began to ask myself questions and answer myself with a list of things in and surrounding my life for which I am grateful, indeed bountifully blessed.
The conversation and list continued something like this:
"Self" I began,
- You are dressed both comfortably & warmly, with a jacket just in case you are cold
- You have no real health issues other than some weight that needs to go away
- You have four adult children not far away who would 'at the drop of a hat' be on the way to take care of anything you might confront
- In your medicine cabinet you have two, yes only two prescription medicines and one of those is Vitamin D
- You do not nor have ever had Diabetes or high blood pressure
- You are easily recognized as a "senior" citizen and have a full head of hair [ good DNA] and your very own teeth and was not the least bit surprised when the dentist recently discovered NO CAVITIES
- .You have a wonderful home
Number 7 seems the perfect place to pause, though this is not the end of my Gratitude list by any means.
Continued: Yes, in 2014 I and the rest of my family have some difficult things to tackle. The first for me will be to visit the cemetery where my Sweetheart of more than half a century was buried in 2013 and then choose a headstone to mark the place. No, I do not anticipate this being in any way easy but it has to be checked off of my 'hard to do' list.
I also posed this question to self as I drove home this morning: What are you going to do with the rest of the life ahead of you? No, I did not see the answer scrawled across the sky but at least I have begun to consider the question.
If you are family, blog follower or regular reader you know I have been dealing with the issue of not being able to 'write' for LGH during recent months and feel without direction or motivation.
Nothing has changed much there but lack of direction does not mean that I Quit and Stop Breathing or Thinking. I know I must 'move on'...yes I actually have the memory of my Silver Fox asking me...almost pleading with me to do exactly this-Move On with Life & not grieve forever. Indeed that is and no doubt will remain a major challenge for 'who knows how long.'
For this day the first of 2014 I choose to Continue-my next thing on the New Year to do list is to have lunch with a dear friend and faithful prayer warrior. She is cooking BLACK EYED PEAS today. How priceless that she thought of me!
Did I not tell you I of all women am Blessed! I am NOT LUCKY. I am blessed by a gracious and loving God ..the one and only God I serve.
I shall return and we will continue this line of thought -I know you have a list of things to check off your 2014 list too. Go for it, but don't forget to check back soon.