''Oh my Lord God of Heaven, Earth, Creation and all that is and will ever be: In this world with so much suffering, chaos, cruelty, evil and conflict between nations and families and individuals I pray you Holy Spirit would sift out all this from my brain...from my being and replace it ever so perfectly with calm, order, caring, kindness, patience in our relationships, our communities and families."
As I sat this morning in my ' hideaway ' my Wisteria Arbor built by my loved one when he knew it would be the last project he would finish from my 'honey do' list....I sat remembering a life, a relationship with another who even more than myself had disdain for conflict...a life and times with more than the usual amount of harmony filling our days.
As a 17 year old when we met then 18+ when we married I didn't even know enough to pray for such amazing things in a marriage but in His perfect plan and merciful provision He just gave me all this.
Sitting in this wonderful, though mostly avoided special place [ for the past 13 months] I am remembering good things, sweet precious things not regrets...hardly a regret can be dredged up..unless it would be a regret there was not even more time. I am sure that's quite normal.I won't pretend this time can always be spent without a melt down with my heart tearing open just as it did 13 months ago. The tears are not used up yet for sure.