This is where we are in life..
pray for us in what appears to be our last 'few months' to fill these days with laughter.
also strengthening-we truly want this to Honor the Lord we love and serve.
.....whatever
is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is
lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praise worthy—think on
these things. Philippians 4:8
Yes there
are days when we do battle with our thoughts, with things unseen, even things
that will never be a reality in our future. I don't always win. The One I
serve always does.
I don't
always have the demeanor of a Victor and I do know where this doubt, fear,
confusion & even questioning originates. It is without a doubt satan, the
evil one [no capitalizations here] who is now roaming 'to and fro' seeking
whom he may destroy. That would be me he's intent upon
defeating.
I
Corinthians 14:33 'God is not the author of confusion...." reminds me
it is such a good thing to memorize scripture. ..to do battle with when we are
engulfed with turmoil, doubt and questioning.
Today is one of those early days of this journey
just begun and I admit there are 'defeaters' swirling within my inner self. I am
tempted to compare my life to non believers asking why. There are
momentary feelings of envy, dissatisfaction, insecurity and recalling
thoughtless words I have heard spoken: "Good things happen to good people."
People mean well. They don't think about those within hearing who are grieving
or suffering. I am not angry. The questioning is brief but I
have learned over the seven decades past that satan will use anything 'not
tied down.' [anything not "good, true, pure, right"] as he attempts to cause
me to stumble knowing when I stumble others will trip over
me.
This births another
thought: " God I truly want to come through on the other side of
this life event closer to You. Give me a supernatural abilty to love,
to forgive and to endure, to be truly content with what I have and where I am."
James 1:4 And let
endurance have its perfect result [work], so that you may be perfect and
complete [mature], lacking in nothing.
My 'silver fox' is at a peaceful contented place with
what he is facing. I see no doubt & no questioning in his demeanor. I want
to be 100% there with him on the same page, however; I do feel the burden is
different and weighs differently [if not heavier] when it's your loved one who
faces the challenges with it's uncertainties and sometimes suffering.
Lord Jesus forgive me when I give
this to you then go back and pick it up again. The life You have given us has
been so incredible and rich. The popular phrase "Life is Good" doesn't even
begin to work nor is it adequate to address or describe the love and joy ...But
LIFE IS GOOD. satan cannot take that from us and to quote my
'love'...God is still in control.
post script: Looking back at the dates-We were sure at the time we had perhaps 2-3 months left-for sure we could plan his 9-11 Birthday party..the we would "look forward" to Thanksgiviing. After that we 'could dream' of Christmas ..maybe. It was not to be. The date I posted the words above shows 8-13-2013. We had 5 days left.
